15. Style 31: Post an outfit pic!

I guess my style would be boho chic if I HAD to be defined, which I think it's better that I'm not. I like big sleeves and flowy tops, and slim lines on the bottom. I LOVE DRESSES & bold jewelry (yet simple, not overdone.) and I like my outfits to look effortless although I spend hours in my closet deciding what to wear and make a huge mess (just ask my husband.) I wore this to the Park on a Saturday. The bangle is a gift from my sister, the shirt is Adaptation, and I'm wearing some cheap target shorts I bought until I can squeeze into my old stuff. (I didn't want to splurge on something I won't fit into for long) You can't see them but I'm wearing a white gladiator sandal on my feet.

14. write a blog thanking someone who's made your heart come alive

Obviously, this is going to be about Slade. If you are a parent you can absolutely understand what it feels like to love someone the way a parent loves their child. Before Slade came into my life, or even started growing in my body I felt like my life was trivial, boring at the least. Everyday was spent sleeping in, getting up, hanging out with the same people and doing the same old things. I rarely felt the motivation to go to school (maybe why its taking me three years to finish a program that usually takes one.) I found myself in abusive relationships, outrageous circumstances, and dangerous, stupid situations. All I ever cared about was myself and when the next "fun" thing to do was happening. Living your life like that starts to become monotonous.. I started feeling pretty depressed and alone. I felt like my life was going no where fast. I met Dane and we were both feeling like life was just, drill. We kept going, trying to invent new ways to have fun. Some of my relationships were starting to fail and as a result I felt as if the meaning of my life was failure. Then something unexpected and unplanned happened. I got pregnant. It was really, really scary. I mean, here I am: 19 years old, unmarried, broke, immautre - and I'm actually thinking of bringing a life into the world. Needless to say a LOT of people were really mean and didn't understand why I didn't just get an abortion, because I obviously wasn't capable of having a child. I couldn't even "take care" of myself. Someone actually told me to SELL my child on craigslist. Seriously. People are REALLY REALLY mean. People thought I was baby crazy and wanted to get pregnant on purpose. It really wasn't like that. I had been praying that God would show me something that would take my breath away and change me on the inside. Make me feel motivated and happy and like I actually had something to live for. Maybe some people feel like partying, staying out all night, and living for the spontaneity of life is living the dream, but after doing that for 5+ years, I was OVER it. I felt dead inside. I wanted a change. Having a baby wasn't exactly what I had in mind, dane and I actually had been discussing moving to Hawaii. I guess that wasn't in Gods plan for us. Even though being pregnant lost me a lot of friends and my "youth" it changed me, for the better. & when Slade was born there was no going back. Reality set in, and I was responsible for this precious beautiful being. and even if I had wanted to, there is no "off" button. (for those of you who arnt parents and don't know what its like) Your thoughts are fixated on this part of you. You dream, live, eat, and breathe for this person and even though its hard work- you wouldn't change it for anything. Not a second goes by that you don't think about this child you created and even when your asleep, your "baby radar" never turns off. I could be 30 miles away and still hear him cry. So a big F*CK YOU (sorry dad :D) to everyone who doubted me! I'm a great mother and i'm finally happy and you can't take that away from me.

Thank you Slade for making my heart come alive, the dead feeling is now gone and you make me really, really happy!

13. Write about your significant other

<3 dane

Jeffrey Dane Wilkinson is probably one of the most amazing men i've ever met. Yes, I know I gripe on him all the time but its just because I love him. He got kinda upset about the last blog I wrote because I made him seem like "he doesn't do anything" which is untrue, he does. So here's my interpretation the real Dane.

(and yes, that is him surfing, which he's been doing since he was six)

We met when I was 18 and had been living in Wilmington for just under a year. I had been through a lot in past relationships and I honestly wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I didn't even think he was that cute until my friend brought it up. We actually met through my roommate and her boyfriend and we all went out one night (which I barely remember) and he slept on our couch. The next morning I woke up my roommate emi, and I was like "who the hell is that guy on our couch?!" she was like "I dont know, one of Aarons friends." and we ended up going to the beach that day. My other roommate, Nadia, told me he wanted to go to the beach bars that night with us and I was cool with it. He literally didn't speak one word to me the whole time at the beach...I thought he was shy and weird. That night I don't even remember getting ready for how we got to the beach but I DO remember him buying me a shot of tequila (my favorite) and who knew that was the way into my heart?! The rest is history.

(below is taken from our first night out together)

He was living in Charlotte at the time, but ended up moving two weeks later and we never seperated. He actually left his credit card and I called to tell him- and he said "oh i'll get it later, you can buy something if you want." So Nadia and I went to the gas station to buy some cigs and the card got denied! He later told me it had been maxed out and he knew the whole time, what a jerk! haha! We spent that whole summer, fall, winter, and spring together and last June I found out we were expecting. I mean, he could have run- or asked me to get an abortion, but he didn't. He stuck by me and was happy, even though some people weren't and thought we were "too young" or not financially ready to have a child. We stuck to our decision. I was a nightmare when I was pregnant. I cried ALL the time, coming to terms with losing my adolesence and friends who disowned me because I couldn't get drunk with them anymore. I HATED being pregnant, but literally, he didn't leave ONE night out of the whole nine months. He stayed with me, and didn't even hang out with his friends because I didn't want to be alone. AND he married me...What a special person.

 I can really say he is my BEST friend and I can tell him anything. He stayed in the room the entire time during the delivery and was such a trooper, even though it was SO late at night and we were exausted. Our PERFECT baby was born on 1/11/11 and we love him. Dane is a great father to Slade. He works his ass off at his job to support both of us. Right now I can't go to school or work because we don't have a baby sitter and we are not willing to put Slade in daycare. So he has a lot of financial pressure on his shoulders and he does so well. I'm so proud of him for stepping up and being an AMAZING dad. We may not get a lot of down time together but just knowing he's there for me is all I need. So, baby- I'm sorry if I made it sound like you don't do anything because you KNOW you do. I LOVE YOU. You are perfect for me.

12. Write about what wears you out as a woman

Easy. Simple. One word: MEN

Men and women are SO different. Our brains work totally opposite and it drives me absolutely nuts! I'm not one to sit around and pretend I'm perfect, but the things guys can't do drive me crazy and it wears me out that I'm the only one in my house who can do these things. I've learned all the wonderful things that women can do that men can't while I've been living with Dane...here is a few:

1. Multitasking: what woman can't hold her baby while putting things into the diaper bag? Or talk on the cell phone and make dinner? Yesterday I asked Dane to pack the diaper bag (he was holding Slade) while I got ready. He said "I'm holding the baby." Yeah, I see that, now go pack the diaper bag! IT ISN'T THAT HARD! It pretty much drives me crazy that men can't multitask, and if you are a man and you can multitask, please come over and teach my husband how its done.
2. Organizing: ZERO organizational skills. At least once a month I have to organize Dane's closet & dresser. Maybe I'm a tad bit OCD...but doesn't he know it goes: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, Pink (if your a girl), Grey, Black, Brown, White? With Long sleeves at the back since its Spring, and short sleeves in the front? When my sister came to visit she said "Dane color coordinates his closet? I can't even get Todd (her husband) to put his clothes away..." HA! nope, I do, because even if the doors are shut, I know what is behind them. If I have anything to do with it: organizied chaos.

Those may just be two little things, but it really wears me out that I feel like I'm the only one keeping our home organized and I'm the only one who can do two, or three things at once! I guess thats why men go to work, and women stay home and take care of the rest of the world....oh wait, its not 1950 anymore...silly me. Attention men: start thinking more like a woman. I'm tired!

11. Post a recipe

I haven't done this in awhile because I felt like posting a recipe was boring....so I'm just gonna do it quick and get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.


kelsie's casserole.

for those of you who don't know, kelsie is my older sister and I usually call her when I don't know what to cook. She gave me this simple recipe and I used to make it ALL the time- its easy and cheap!

1 box of bowtie pasta
1 can tomato paste
1 can tomato sauce
any kind of cheese (I like cheddar)
seansoning salts (depending on what you like)

its not rocket science:
boil pasta, drain
heat sauce & paste in saucepan & season
put pasta in baking dish
set oven to 350 degrees for 20-30 mins
pour sauce over pasta
add cheese on top
VOILA!

10. What are some of your favorite make-up products and what foundation/powder do you wear?

I really don't wear foundation, unless I have serious skin issues so if that's the case I use a benefit foundation stick or dream matte mousse liquid foundation.

in order of how i apply:

1. eye bright - benefit
2. dream matte mousse concealer
3. brow fantasy - revlon
4. high lift - benefit
5. bare minerals (a little sun/faux tan)
6. pixi lid & line (target)
7. posietint - benefit
8. revlon eyelash curler
9. maybelline eyeshadow duo (color depending on day, if any at all)
10. Grow luscious - Revlon

9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

I have a lot of vices. If I have to pick a few virtues I have, or try to be better at having (hey I'm not perfect!) they would be:

• generosity
• mercy
• loyalty
• compassion
• ability to forgive & forget

8. My beauty secrets

Since i'm in cosmetology school I am obviously pretty interested in beauty.
here are a few of my favorite tips i've learned over the years:

1. brows: your brows frame your eyes and if they look crappy, so will you. Full brows are in now, and a few people have told me I have awesome brows- and it's because I use a brow pencil to fill in the little spots that are bare!
2. I ALWAYS use a luminesent powder, or now I have "high lift" from Benefit to use in my tear ducts and on my brow bone to highlight! It makes a huge difference.
3. John Frieda frizz ease serum is great for frizzy hair, and I especially like Dream Curls spray to use when i' wearing my hair my natural texure because it defines my waves but doesn't make them crunchy looking (I hate when people have crunchy curles/waves, ew.)
4. I really hate orange blondes. Unfortunatley when I was pregnant I screwed my hair color, a lot and had to get it chopped off a few times. But shampoo/conditioner that is purple really helps bring the orange out.
5. Jergens Natural Glow. the end.
6. Muffin top is a no-no. I always make sure I wear a long tank and pants that actually fit.
7. tea tree conditioner & Garnier dandruff shampoo is awesome for an itchy scalp
8. I like to excessorize, so use jewels to bring out the colors you're wearing
9. Bronzer is your BFF
10. I LOVEEEEEE aquafresh foaming toothpaste...it keeps your teeth really white and feels awesome 

7. Do you believe in the "cry until he sleeps" method?

I didn't hear about this until I became a mom. Some people (like my dad) told me it's best to "let them cry it out" as early as possible. Others (like my cousin Mandy) said she could never do it. I personally had a really hard time with it when Slade was first born. I felt like if I ignored him for one second, didn't pick him up the second he started crying, or walked out of the room for a minute he would defiantly remember and think his mother abandoned him. As the weeks, and months went by i realized he isn't going to remember the time I left him in his swing for 20 minutes to take a shower. However, a lot of doctors and articles I have read say you should lay your baby down in his crib, happy but awake so they can learn how to soothe themselves. Dane and I were doing really well with those tips, but now we rock him to sleep every time and I'm starting to worry we are spoiling him. If he wakes up when I put him down I let him cry for a few minutes to see if he is just getting that last bit of energy out so he can soothe himself back to sleep. If he continues to cry, I pick him up, rock him, tell him its okay and its "night night time" and lay him back down either happy, or asleep and continue this pattern until he is really asleep.

so no, I don't particularly believe in the cry until he sleeps method. I believe in "cry until you can't stand it anymore" because it hurts to hear your baby upset! It's an instinct to soothe them!

6. Your most embarrassing moment

Truthfully, not just moving to a new house and being busy caused me to quit answering the 31 day challenge questions. This question was particularly hard to answer because I haven't ever really had a "most embarrassing moment". I guess the top two "pretty darn embarrassing moments" will have to qualify since I don't have a really big one.

My mom is pretty dorky. I think most people are sometimes embarrassed by the loving, akward way moms can be in public, or even around other family members. Or, maybe my mom is just weird. Anyways when I was about 9 or 10 years old I walked out one Sunday morning in a really cute purple spandex-ish (kiley-ism) sort of feeling Limited Too dress. I thought I looked particulary cute because it was one of my favorite dresses. It was me, my dad, and my mom and she suddenly blurted out "Peter, don't you think Kiley neeeeeeds something?" and we looked at eachother, confused and back at my mom. He said "No, what?" and my mom responded "A BRA!" like, wow mom thanks! Thats not totally mortifying or anything to call me out infront of my dad who is the epitome of someone i'm not thrilled to share girl things with....

While on the topic of akward, embarrassing things for people to say infront of your dad, who probably wants to pretend you're still his "little girl"...The first time I ever learned about sex was when my mom sat me down on her bed and gave me a book to read. Now, this book was graphic people. The lady was fat, and so was the man and both of them needed a bikini wax like whoa. I was probably around the same age as the bra incident, and she left me ALONE to read this freaky book. "This is as close as two people can get" I remember reading. I came out of her bedroom ready to throw the book away and go hide from her, but she was standing outside of the bedroom and as we walked down the hallway my dad came by and she stopped him and said "Kiley just had her first sex lesson!" talk about embarrassing. Sex is the LAST thing I ever want to discuss with my dad. I'd prefer to pretend it doesn't exist.

It's funny these are my most embarrassing moments because I'm really not shy about sexuality (ask any of my friends) but there are just some people you don't discuss those things with and one of them is your dad!

Slade Laughing and various other videos...

visit this link...please excuse the embarrassing videos of me.
http://www.youtube.com/user/emiki567?feature=mhum