out of order

I haven't really felt much like blogging lately. Sometimes I get into a funk where I feel like my little life is uninteresting to most. Sprinkle a little happy, energetic 16 month old in the mix and this girl barely has time (or energy) to open up her laptop!

Of course we had a very, very exciting event happen to us a few weeks ago but I'm waiting on a friend to send me the video- and so it will be a blog topic at another time. Today, I want to talk about a couple other things on my mind.

Attachment Parenting.

I'm going to talk about how I feel on this topic. If you want the official definition, you can click on the link above.

Attachment parenting in short is a natural birth, extended breast feeding, safely co-sleeping, positive disciple (ie no hitting), and all about your child having a voice.

I can't truly talk about attachment parenting unless I address the Time Magazine cover that is pretty much infamous now. If you haven't seen it, I'm surprised. I'm not going to post it here, because I honestly feel like it's been sensationalized and the title "Are you mom enough?" It's completely off base. You can view it here.

Most people of course reacted pretty harshly to the Time Magazine cover. Instead of showing the mother lovingly holding her child, they put her in a pose that is just ridiculous. No mom is going to be like "Hop on up here on this stool & have a sip!" I highly doubt she actually nurses her 3 year old like that on a daily basis. Again, it's meant to sell magazines. As for extended breast feeding....more power to you! I personally found breastfeeding to be nothing short of exhausting. 13 months was 7 months too long for me, but I did believe my son had a "voice" and he wasn't ready to quit. Not to mention any pediatrician will recommend (and sometimes even tell you) that you should nurse for a minimum of 12 months. Toddlers benefit just like babies do, which is why some moms continue into the second, third, and even fourth year. Bonding, comfort, security, immunological benefits...I can see why people want to E.B.F. That's why I say, unless you've been there don't judge & every mother has the right to choose what's right for her and her child. Let me just add- I do not think any mother is better just because she co-slept, had a natural birth, OR breastfed for any length of time. Women used to literally high five me for breastfeeding so long...and I just felt like rolling my eyes. I also had an unplanned natural birth, and it was the worst experience! Everyone is different and should raise their kids based on what feels right to them.

Moving on to the attachment parenting topic that's really got me thinking...

Co-sleeping.

I spent weeks primping and organizing Slade's nursery. I can't count the times I rearranged the little stuffed animals in his crib, played his light up mobile songs & just dreamt of the day I would watch him sleep in his crib. Little did I know he would absolutely hate that crib.

One of the most useful gifts I got at my shower was a pack n' play. He slept in that thing, tucked right next to my bed, until he was too big for it (around 4 months) and I got so excited to finally move him into his crib. I thought it would be a good feeling- but not only did I miss him but I was constantly going back and forth to tend to him during the night. It was exhausting! I finally caved (more like I fell asleep with him in my arms in my bed just about every night) and let him sleep with me. It worked great for awhile. He was right there when he woke up at 2, 4, and 6am to eat (who's counting?) & I mastered being a zombie and did everything in my sleep. Before too long, he got big... He slept the wrong way in the bed and Dane and I each had feet or elbows in our faces and 2 inches of bed.

We decided he needed to be in his own room. I got rid of the dreaded cage, I mean crib, and we replaced it with a double bed. He did pretty good, coming into our room sometime in the night (one of those zombie feedings) and I found once I weaned him, he slept through the night! At some point though, I realized I didn't want him to sleep in his room. Call it mommy anxiety but I felt at ease feeling his little body snuggled up next to me. I didn't care anymore about not having any space and I welcomed elbows in my rib cage.

I finally admitted to Dane that it wasn't Slade who needed to sleep with me, it was me who needed to sleep with Slade. It is comforting knowing he's safe tucked in between us. I wondered how this "co-sleeping" would workout with a newborn. I decided not to even invest in a new crib and beat myself up night after night after "crying it out" failed because I was too much of a wimp to listen to my child cry for me.

In no way do I think I attachment parent to the fullest...I'm not really an eco-friendly mom hippy type of mom. I use adult bug spray on him & disposable diapers (because who wants MORE laundry to do?!). I just know that my child benefits from excessive love & if he wants to snuggle until he's 12 I'm going to let him. I'm still trying to figure out the kinks of having a baby who wakes up multiple times in the same room as a baby who sleeps through the night but I think it's going to work just fine!